Daddy, what do you do …

“Daddy , you have seen my time-table at school, right ? “

Yes Indeed, I have

“So you know what I do throughout the day at school?”

Yes, I do know what you do at school. In fact I almost have your daily schedule memorized

“So tell me this. What do you do whole day in office ?”

Errrr ….. I go to the lab, test some things. if they are not working, I try to fix it

“So you are like a repair-man”

Well …… no, not exactly. Sometimes I think of better way to do things. Like I get lot of ideas.(Actually daddy goes to office, drinks coffee, cracks lots of jokes, browses the net, checks mail and comes back . But what the heck, the previous explanation sounds impressive, even to me)

“BLANK STARE”

What do I tell ?

How about “I think about the really tough problems facing us today and try to come up ways to solve them” ? Nice statement, but that is not really what I do most of the time :-(

Should I say that I am a researcher who does not know half the time whether he is right or wrong ?

Or if I am someone whose job involves making vague power point presentations on how to solve problems that may or may not exist ?

I really need to think on how to put this nicely to a 6 year old !!

One year

“If you want to know the value of a day, ask a schoolboy on the last day before summer vacation.
If you want to know the value of an hour, ask a criminal sentenced to death.
If you want to know the value of a minute, ask a person that just missed their flight.
If you want to know the value of a second, ask a person that just avoided a serious car accident.
If you want to know the value of a millisecond, ask an Olympic silver medalist”

(http://www.johnboe.com/articles/time_management_tips.html)

Wifey informs me that she has completed one year in her job as of today. So if you were wondering whom to ask about the value of one year, you have the answer now :-)

Wisdom from a six year old

We went to the railway station couple of days back to see-off my sister, brother-in-law and niece. Diya had just spent the good part of her two month summer vacation with them. She has always been extremely attached my sister's family

So predictably on the way back she was sobbing uncontrollably in the car . Both me and my wife were trying to console her and she settled down somewhat after a while.

And then the rain started, the onset of Monsoon in Bangalore.

She turns to me and says "See daddy, it is not only me who is crying. The whole world is crying with me"

What do I say ....... Where does she get this imagination from ?

Conversations with my daughter

"Daddyyyyyyy, after you finish 10th standard, what do you do" ?
Well, then you have to join for +2
"So after you finish your +2, then will you get a degree"
(Where is she getting these terms like degree from ???) No, you have to join for a degree course after that
"So after that you become a doctor is it ?"
No, there are several kinds of degree courses. You can become a doctor, engineer, a writer, what not
"You know what I want to become ? "
(She is six and she already knows ? I am nearing thirty five and I'm still not sure !! What can she say, she'll say either Doctor like her mom or Engineer like her Dad ) No, I don't know, why don't you tell me ?
"I want to become a dance performer. I want to dance on stage and entertain people "

Considering that my child-hood dream was to become a KSRTC bus driver, I have to say my daughter's one is considerably better

Another b’day

Wifey’s birthday was on Saturday, had a mini family get together here with all her cousins and their families coming over. Kids from age of 2 to 10, boys and girls. 4 hours of absolute mayhem and noise, I loved it :-)

Pretty much crashed whole of Sunday, little one has picked some Asthma related problems once more with a nagging cough and slight fever. The weather is so dry here that the dust never settles, that must explain it for sure.

Umbrella : The poem

I came home from work yesterday, pretty exhausted. My little one ran up to me with her rough note. In that was scribbled a small poem, on an Umbrella, for which her teacher has given her a very very good rating. Apparently her teacher told her that it should be published in a news-paper. Well, I don't own a newspaper, but I certainly own this blog. So here it goes, reproduced in full :-)

It is cold, It is cold

I want your umbrella to hold

To hold and sing and laugh

To play and Jump.

BTW those exactly define her activities at home too. Sing, Laugh, Play, Jump. Maybe I should add dance too . Life is great when you are six !!

Nursery Rhymes

Lot of miles , they say , has flown past by my car’s wheels. What used to be an immensely enjoyable drive to Calicut has been reduced to a slightly bitter experience due to the condition of roads in Kerala.

But that is not the point I am trying to make. I was listening to my wife sing some nursery rhymes with my daughter and I am startled how violent some of these are !!

Take Goosey Goosey Gander

Goosey goosey gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers,
So I took him by his left leg
And threw him down the stairs

And of course there is poor old Humpty Dumpty who seems to have met a rather violent end

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again

Now there can’t be a problem with Jack and Jill, can there ? Multiple fractures at the bare minimum, the following lines would suggest ..

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

What about the three little blind mice ? Listen to this ghastly tail chopping tale ….

Three blind mice. Three blind mice.
See how they run. See how they run.
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mice

Hmmmmm, looks like we should be more worried about the nursery rhymes than about violence on TV :-)) Now I know why I always had a soft spot for Twinkle Twinkle little star :-)

The robot

Finally watched my first ever Rajni movie, Endhiran . I sort of liked it !! :-) The first half is very watchable, the second half becomes a bit too much of special effects and action.

What else , apart from that ?

Well, we recently celebrated our little one’s 6th birthday back home in Calicut. Her school has closed for Puja holidays here , so she is back home with my parents now. She was overjoyed to be back in the surroundings in which she grew up for the past 4 years.

I guess one of the good things about the 4 years I spent separated from my family is that my daughter has formed very close bonds with both sets of grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. That can only be good.

6 years, time does fly !!

What makes you happy ?

A nice meal ? Company of friends ? A good book ? A funny movie ? Time spent with family ?

Well, my daughter has provided a clear answer to that question over the past three days – Time spent with grandmother !!
And of course she has got a brand new bicycle as gift from Grand-mom as well. I was watching her sleep a few minutes back, her facial expression says “What more do you want from life ?“

Buying time : From Paulo Coelho's blog

Gem of a story on Paulo Coelho's blog. http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/09/11/buying-time/

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year-old son waiting for him at the door.
“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, sure, what is it?” replied the man.
“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?
“That’s none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.
“If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.”
“Oh,” the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?”

The father was furious. “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. I work long, hard hours everyday and don’t have time for such childish games.”
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy’s questioning. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00, and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.
“Are you asleep son?” he asked.
“No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man. “It’s been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here’s that $10.00 you asked for.”
The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills.
The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.

“Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.
“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?”

Life is like that

Flashback to some Friday around 6 months back. I am tossing an turning in my bed, it is 11.30 in the night. Sleep is distant. I feel restless and tense. I try to read but I cannot focus. What is happening , I wonder ?

Now back to the present. Friday evening around 9.30 pm. I am settling down in by bed. My daughter is snuggling close to me, her head on my shoulder, arm clasped across me. I look down at her and see two expectant eyes staring back at me.

“Story”, she demands.

I start off with some impromptu story, my daughter keeps giggling. I keep asking her questions during the story and she keeps responding. Suddenly there is no response to a question, I look down and see that she has fallen asleep.

I have probably mentioned this before, but the feeling of having a little one snuggle up and go to sleep in your arms is the most relaxing feeling ever !!

My bed-time story time is over, the story of my life continues. Only things seems suddenly so different from 6 months back. I cannot find a single word to describe the difference. It’s as if everything that I wished for came true … Complete, maybe that is the word, I feel complete again.

World Cup

World cup football and my daughter – 2 strong reasons that have kept me off the blogosphere.

World cup has been a pleasant surprise, I was not too sad to see Brazil and Argentina go early. I don’t like their attitude, always whining to the referee, overacting when fouled, they act more like a bunch of kindergarten students than professional football players.

So finally it is Oranje vs La Furia Roja. My prediction is for Netherlands to nick it. I like watching Spain play, but they are one dimensional. They could be choked by the Netherlands midfield. van Bommel and de Jong have been the best defensive midfielders on display this world cup.

Just a couple more hours and we will know the winner !!

Also busy with my little one. I am in charge of sending her off to school and receiving her once she comes back. A few minutes with her is the best stress reliever  ever !!

Jnanappana

No, that was not some jumble that my daughter typed, it is the name of a famous poetry book in Malayalam. More specifically, the obtuse sounding reference to this old book is in the context of the following two verses

Randu nalu dinam kodangoruthane thandilethi nadathunnathum bhavan
Malika mugalileriya mannante tholil marappu kethunnathum bhavan

The translation, again obtained from the above link, reads :

In a matter of day or two You are He, who makes them ride on the royal chair.
On the shoulder of the king who climbs to the top of palace. You are He, who places the tattered heap.

How else can I describe my state ? Till yesterday I was a king. My house was filled with laughter, people, food , action and conversation. Today there is nothing, my family has gone back after their brief vacation

On the positive side, we spent probably the happiest week ever together !!

I will get back to my reading mode again. Among other books, I have the latest collection of short stories from Archer in queue : And Thereby Hangs a Tale.

Long trip

And I am back to Bangalore, after having driven ~ 950 kms over the past 5 days.

It all started with a drive to Calicut with my parents on 1st May. The trip took longer than I planned because we took frequent breaks in between. Plus I no longer drive at the same peak speeds after an accident I had around an year back.

The road is in very good condition, except for a small section between Mysore and Nanjangud which is quite bumpy and uneven. Nanjangud to Bandipur forest is the best stretch of road. Sparse traffic, long straight sections with very good visibility. Do watch out for several unmarked humps. The forest section has its own charm due to the significant drop in temperature, we drove with our windows down at noon in the peak of summer. Still it was so cool !! All the more reason for Bangalore to actively look at increasing its tree cover.

The drive through Kerala is very scenic. Overtaking is a nightmare, owing to twisty nature of the roads. You can rarely see a 50m stretch of straight road, it always snakes around into blind corners :(

Then we went to Kuttiyadi for my cousin’s wedding on Monday. Again a 50 km drive that took me close to 1.5 hours due to the fact mentioned above !!

On the drive back on Tuesday, I had my wife, kid, sister, brother-in-law and niece for company. We took one day break in Mysore and did some sightseeing there.

The Mysore zoo is a must visit for folks with young kids. Be prepared to spend half a day there if you are planning to cover it by walking as we did. You have to walk close to 3 kms !!

My favs were the Hornbill, Sarus crane ( which is the world’s tallest flying bird, a fact that I did not know till now) and the Royal Bengal Tiger. I don’t know who named the Lion as the king of animals, for me it has to be Tiger without a shadow of doubt !!.

Reached back in Bangalore yesterday evening. And I am sick of the sight of my car already :-( Driving in peak summer is not too much fun.

A heart breaking good bye

My daughter is settled nicely in the back seat of the car with my wife. They have come to see me off at the bus station. My suitcase is in the backseat of the car.

I don’t want to leave, I desperately want to stay, however I cannot show too much emotion as it upsets everyone else. I walk over to the private bus operator’s office , collect my ticket and slowly walk back to my car. It is time for me to leave again.

I open the back door to take out my suitcase. Two tiny hands clamp on the suitcase in defiance. “I will not let you take this suitcase”, my little one says playfully. She knows I have to leave, but in her eyes I see the small ray of hope that maybe Daddy can stay back for one more day. Maybe just for this time ………

I have to disappoint her yet again

I pull out my suitcase, say my bye bye and walk back towards my bus. As the car recedes off into the distance, I see my daughter and wife waving me farewell.

My daughter is at an age where she understands. She does not throw tantrums, she knows that I am going to be back in couple of weeks time. Yet I see the sorrow in her eyes, I know she is going to miss me. I also know that she is probably crying in the car now.

What in the world could be worth all this , I wonder ..

A few more months and I shall live again !!

Happy 2010

Hoping that the new year brings you lots of joy, peace and the company of loved ones. It is most definitely going to be a land mark year for me, the one in which I will be re-united with my family !!

Speaking of New year and resolutions, you can add one more category of people to my hate list : The New Year resolution folks.

It is sad enough that they overcrowd the gyms and cause hardship to regular gym goers. Now, today I got out from office at 6.15 and found that the roads were jam packed. No doubt with hundreds of resolution addicts who would have sworn to leave office by 6 come what may this year.

I guess this may be one resolution that has a faster death than the gym one !! Two days of this mess and I hope some sense returns :-)

Had a lovely vacation at home. Though I was at home for 10 days, it felt more like 1 !!

My daughter insisted on coming with me everywhere, even to my hair cut saloon !! :-) It was really nice to spend so much time with them, you realize the value of all this only when deprived of it.

And then there are days …

Days in which I continue to question my existence. Yesterday and today have been such days.

Better ones to follow soon, I am sure. Right now tough to see from where ……

Me , myself and Pradeep

The past few days have not been good. First my family went back to Calicut on Wednesday night . This time they had come here to secure my daughter’s school admission for June next year. We finally got her admitted to VIBGYOR high after considerable debate. Seems like a good school. Only time will tell if we are good enough parents to make sure our little one gets proper values and education.

After my family went back, I slipped into one of my customary moody state of minds.  I am usually very silent and irritable when in this mood. My food habits become very irregular and I am usually a bit curt or even rude. I can feel the transformation signs, but sadly there are very few things I can do to control them. The only thing that has worked for me is to brood a couple of days then get back to normal. It works in a certain time cycle, I cannot accelerate or decelerate the process !!

Very frustrating, especially because I realize I am upsetting a lot of my friends when I go into this shell.  But hopefully this is a part of life that will be gone forever once my family joins me in a few months. What if I lose a few battles, I will win the war for sure !!

Then I decided to foolishly volunteer for doing some wall scrubbing and painting, for a moment forgetting my old friend – Asthma. That friend does not take forgetfulness very lightly , and I was punished heavily for my indiscretion. The dust and turpentine smell was a bit too much for me to handle and I was out for close to 3 days before I could raise my head somewhat. 

So rearing my head back up again slowly now. On the prowl for a few books to read.

I am born again ……

No, I am not referring the Boney M song with same name

In a few hours I will complete my transition from a forced bachelor existence to being a family man . My family has already started their journey to join me in Bangalore for a week !!

One week in which I will be free of all the tensions in the world

One week in which I will no longer come back to an empty house

One week in which there will be laughter & conversation in my house

One week in which my house will become a home again

And what after a week ? I begin to go back into my shell, till the next time arrives :-)

“Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried - For only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives”

Lessons learnt the tough way, lessons that never shall be forgotten

Midnight ramblings

Eat when your stomach tells you, work when your heart tells you, sleep when your eyes tell you – I am sure I have read something to this effect sometime back.

What if stomach, heart and eyes tell you nothing ?????????????? Systemic hartal has hit me now !! :-) Just in a dazed state, completely switched off ..

I have initiated daily video conference calls with my family since my last trip home. Nothing beats being there in person , of course, but this comes pretty close. What I really need is a Telepresence link with home :-)

Finally wifey has got posted in Calicut Medical College itself, has been a major relief !! The first order posted her in Trichur, thankfully the officials were sympathetic to our plight and put her back in Calicut. I had external influence of course -- prayer support from two of my friends :-)) I am sure that is what made the difference finally..

Hmmm. I would have thought that with less than a year to go before we unite again, I would have felt happier. But the mind does not seem to accept it as “just one more year to go”. It is stuck  in “STILL one more year to go” mode. I suppose if I have survived three, I can survive one more.

Alive and kicking still, Don’t ask what is it that I am kicking :-)

And nope, no plans to kick the bucket anytime soon. Sorry to disappoint you all, my random thoughts still have a long way to go ;)

Miles to go before I sleep ……… [ Not really, the bed is right behind me. But what the heck, it felt like a nice line to end the blog]